Oh friends, I have a treat for you today. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I have fallen in love with the book Loving My Actual Life: An Experiment in Relishing What’s Right in Front of Me and not just because the cover makes me swoon.
Today, my sweet friend Alexandra is stopping by to share a few words from the book and we’re giving away THREE copies of it here on Queen of Free. Check out the ways to enter at the end of the post!
What If My Fresh Start, Started Right Here?
A few years ago I found life spinning out of control. Not because of any major event, simply because my days were busier and filled past the brim. I was trying to do more than was possible for one woman. In fact I was running from one thing to the next with such speed that I was missing everything along the way. I couldn’t enjoy the good God had gifted me because I was too distracted and exhausted.
It’s difficult to be inspired when you’re exhausted.
And so I knew I needed a change. But what? How? I couldn’t find a formula for loving the life I was already living and so an experiment was in order. One that allowed me to try, and sometimes fail, in discovering what worked in loving my actual life. And I documented my journey in my new book Loving My Actual Life: An Experiment in Relishing What’s Right in Front of Me. Here is how I start this adventure . . .
“I find most people are working hard to live life “right.” Whatever our right might be. And then real life keeps getting in the way. Singleness or infertility or underemployment or whiny children may not be what we expected, or hoped for, but here we are. We all have our ideal and then we also all have our reality. They rarely match up. This is a book about savoring the reality.
The last few years I’d been following my friend and mentor Karen’s advice. ‘Do what only you can do’ she told me during my fourth pregnancy as I struggled with work-family decisions. She emphasized you. I was the only one who could be Derek’s wife and my girls’ mother. Other responsibilities could be shared, even totally discarded on my part. It helped me say ‘no’ to lots of opportunities as I realized there were many things I could do, but didn’t need to do. But even with that decision-making matrix, I sensed I was still not living my best life.
In this experiment we’re going to hang out in the element that is. Not what could be, should be, or I wish were true about my life. But what actually is. To find a contentment that doesn’t merely resign itself to circumstances we wish were different, but appreciates the daily routine we’re in right now. Because God gave us each one unique life. Meant to be lived out in our actual circumstances. I don’t want the gifts he’s offered to go unnoticed nor the opportunities wasted. I want to live into where he’s called me and me alone.
I recognize from a global perspective, looking at life through the eyes of someone whose physical needs aren’t being met, I am living a pretty comfortable, even charmed, life. I don’t want this experiment to simply be a list of first world pains. But the truth is my actual life is in the first world and there are barriers preventing me from appreciating what is right around me. I want to move past them so I can truly relish the goodness that surrounds me.
You’ll be reading along as I stumble through the experiment and discover what helps me in the relishing. Some things I learn surprise me and change how I approach my days. At the end of each month I share what I learned and the practices I’ll most likely continue in my daily rhythms. You’ll also find some questions to get you thinking on how you are doing in the given area of your own life. And a verse or two from the Bible that you can meditate on or even memorize as you consider God’s unchanging nature and desire in the midst of our “crazy busy”.
My process is not always pretty or neat. But truly my hope is that my stumblings will stir questions in you about what it means to live your actual, unique life. That it might be an impetus for you to consider the question; ‘What if my fresh start started right here?’”
– From Loving My Actual Life: An Experiment in Relishing What’s Right in Front of Me (Baker Books, 2016)
So friend, won’t you join me in this experiment? Not one of major changes, but of small tweaks? And together we can discover how to relish this life. Small moment by small moment. God offers us fresh start after fresh start. It’s kind of his specialty. Let’s make a few little changes so we don’t miss this big life he’s given us.
Alexandra Kuykendall spends her days washing dishes, driving to and from different schools and trying to find a better solution to the laundry dilemma. She is the author of The Artist’s Daughter: A Memoir and Loving My Actual Life: An Experiment in Relishing What’s Right in Front of Me. Alex is an established and trusted voice in mothering circles and makes her home in the shadows of downtown Denver with her husband Derek and their four daughters.
My book is now available: Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After. You can also check out The Debt Free Devotional
This post contains an affiliate link. That means when you get a great deal or maybe even something for free, you also help our family pay off our mortgage early. And for that, we royally thank you!
I can’t believe I came across this post today. I JUST said to my best friend of 25 years last night, “I can’t enjoy God’s blessing because I’m always speeding on to the next thing.” That’s exactly why I need a copy of this book.
I need this book to recharge
Can’t wait to pick this up!!!
As a super busy teacher, I think I need to add this book to my list to read in the summer (when I have a little time to read what I want).
What a great post! I have been feeling buried under my life lately and yet I know that my life is actually a blessing and I’ve been trying to believe this and not just logically know this. I look forward to reading this book it has the perfect title.
I would love to win this and give it to my daughter!
It sounds like just what I need.
always enjoy a good book
I would LOVE to read this. I’m currently in the “feeling sorry for myself” stage of paying off debt. (I’m one of the hardcore frugals like Cherie) we are about a year out from being debt free and I think this book would help this
season of the journey
Will be having many changes happening in the next few months. Have the feeling this book will help me keep my wits as the changes develope and take place.
This looks like s great book to read!
I’d love to have this book so I don’t miss the small moments while my children are little.
I would love to read this book. There’s always a way to enhance your experience and I believe reading this can help do better at utilizing what I have.
Wow! I could totally stand to slow down and take stock of what is it that only I can do.
I could use the advice. Thanks for the chance to win this book.
I could certainly use this reminder and would love to read the book!
I would love a copy of this book because as a homeschool Mom of 5 it took Cancer stage 0 (a true blessing if I had to have Cancer) for me to slow down. I’m 3 months out from surgery and am learning to slow down and appreciate what’s in front of me. Thanks for chance!
This feels like the perfect gift for Mother’s day
I’ve been struggling with doing “enough” to keep everyone else happy. I’m trying to focus more on positive things and let other things go. This book sounds like something to help me gain focus and move my life in the right direction.
Small tweaks is exactly what I can handle. I’m too jaded and exhausted for major overhauls.
I would love to read this book becaus Alexandra’s first book was so good. She is an inspirating for moms everywhere.
I’d love to read this book for inspiration! It sounds like exactly what so many of us need to hear!
I have often fussed over the fact that life doesn’t meet my expectations. I would love to read Alexandra’s thoughts on the topic.