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It was a typical Tuesday afternoon. My calendar, jammed with appointments and obligations lay open next to my laptop. My phone nearby in proximity hummed and whirred with notifications and texts. In my head, I was picturing what the evening would look like – what we would eat for dinner, what time to get to the school for the parent information night, how to get my oldest daughter to her golf match and make sure my youngest completed her homework, wondering if medical science really had made it possible for me to clone myself yet and why the heck they had’t hurried that process up just a little bit for every other mom like me.
It was then my phone lit up with a phone call.
I rarely talk on the phone. I’m not one of those women who chats for hours on end with their gal pals, sharing the newest dirt and fashion tips. When I recognized the phone number was one of the elementary school’s extensions, my heart skipped a little beat.
There are only three reasons why you get a call from the school in the middle of the day. Your child either has:
- An Illness & Injury: someone threw up, contracted head lice, or broke an arm.
- Made Unwise Choices: behavior issues – the dreaded call no parent wants to receive.
- Been The Victim of Unwise Choices: this is equally awful when your child has been bullied or hurt due to the actions of someone else.
With a bit of panic, I picked up the phone and slid the answer call button to the right.
Me: “Hello?”
“Mrs. Lowe?”
Me: “Yes . . . ”
“I’m Mrs. Mott, the new art teacher at Zoe’s school. I have Mrs. Scott’s class in art today. I have Zoe here and I’d like to talk to you about some behaviors during class today.”
Me: *gulp* *panic* *What on God’s green earth did she do to merit this call?* “Okaaaaay.”
“Well, we’re learning about patterns right now in art class. We’ve been making our names with patterns.”
Me: *Oh no. We talked about words we don’t use at school that don’t bother Mommy and Daddy at home, but aren’t appropriate. Did she write “suck” on her paper? Oh please tell me she didn’t write “suck” or “butt” or “booty” or any other synonym for butt.* “Okaaaaay.”
“Zoe was doing a really great job. She was paying attention and doing careful work. She was working really hard.”
Me: *aaaaannnnnndddd then KAPOW* “Okaaaaay.”
“And Zoe’s class has something they want to say to you.”
Muffled 2nd graders in a chorus: “Hip, hip, HOORAY!”
“That was hip, hip, hooray if you couldn’t understand it. We just want to thank you for sending such a great kid to school.”
Me: *a muddled puddle of emotions* “Well aren’t you awesome?! Thank you.”
I don’t even remember hanging up the phone or saying goodbye. All I know is that one minute I was fuh-reaking out over the fact that my kid may have been out of line and the next I welled with pride, gratitude, and the thought “What an amazing teacher!”
So if I had composed myself enough to actually make any sense of my word salad, here’s what I would have said Mrs. Mott.
Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me that my kid had done something well.
That her heart matters more than her academics.
That you think she is a great kid.
That you knew it would matter to me to know if she was making wise choices.
Thank you for not allowing a long day of caring for and educating a parade of small children (who need the arts now more than ever) to wear you down, forgetting their humanity.
Thank you for the years of your life you gave up to pursue a field that’s under-thanked and under-paid, filled with long hours of preparation and hundreds of dollars of your own money spent on supplies and curriculum.
Thank you even more for reminding me that you really care. Not just about your job, but about my daughter and about me, too.
Thank you for championing her – for praising her in front of her parents and peers – reminding her that wise choices are worthwhile.
I have a hunch, someday when my daughter is many years older and inches taller, her sweet soul will have an impression in the shape of your face. She will remember standing in front of her class as you called me to share this short conversation. She will beam, recalling what it feels like to be told that she matters.
And even if she forgets, I’ll remind her of the difference-maker who went out of her way to mold her into the type of person I long for her to be. And once again, I’ll clumsily whisper “Thank you.” and remember this day.
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Such a wonderful post! As a preschool teacher I am so borrowing this idea to use with my own class of kiddos. Thanks for sharing!
You are most welcome! Thanks for what you do.
I recently called a parent to praise her child, and I could almost hear the tears welling up in her voice over the phone.
It makes such a big difference! We can see those things in our own kiddos but when someone else celebrates it, it makes life a little sweeter.
Much too often in our society we tend to hear or listen to the negatives or bad things that happen rather than focus on the positives and the good! Students and their parents need to hear the positives happening in their lives! It can make all the difference in the world!
You are so right! 🙂
Did you write or call the teacher after when you realized what you wanted to say? As a teacher, it’s nice on the other end to hear parents’ appreciation rather than about everything we are doing wrong. Even if it’s a day or two later. Or years.
Another teacher at the school actually passed this along to her. 🙂
I love this and sent a simple “thank you” email to my sons first grade teacher. Here in the second week of school she has begun sending home emails with pictures of our children hard at work in class during the day. It’s an extra step she takes beyond the daily class planner and daily behavior chart and weekly class newsletter with spelling/vocabulary words and upcoming events. It gives us a glimpse of their moment in life with her. It shows her pride in their accomplishments. And I truly appreciate this love shown to my son. Here’s to hoping she is that teacher to him.
Wow -that is absolutely fabulous…what a refreshing read this was! I’ve never been so lucky to get one of those calls -just keep getting beaten down by folks who have no idea how painful it is to have a child that struggles paying attention. This gives me hope!
When I was growing up, my mom told me about the time one of her elementary teachers called home to praise her, in a very similar situation as this. So I have no doubt Zoe will remember this moment too! What a wonderful acknowledgment from her teacher 🙂
Loved reading this! I have such high appreciation for my teachers and plan to become one myself. I shall keep in mind this story and remember to praise my future students when it is due.
As someone who had a wonderful kindergarten and first grade teacher, I appreciate the teachers (like this fantastic woman!) who make an effort and go the extra mile to cultivate the minds and hearts of children. Believe it or not, we kids DO remember these things and even 18 years later I remember my lovely teachers and keep in contact with both of them. Both are invited to my wedding!
Send a note to the teacher’s administrator! 🙂
While you all may think this is great, I would be beyond angry if this happened to me. I KNOW how amazing my child is. I don’t need someone interrupting not only my day, but an entire class, to call and tell me this. A note home in her backpack, an email, or even pulling me aside when I come to pick my kid up would have been more appropriate. If the point was to make a big deal out of my kid in front of the whole class, well, then schedule an assembly for that. Furthermore, we shouldn’t make a huge deal out of kids ‘working hard’ or ‘paying attention’. That is what you are supposed to be doing in school. This is what’s wrong with kids these days. We make a huge deal out of them doing exactly what is expected of them. We clap and “Hooray” for every little fart and sneeze. Maybe, and that’s a big maybe, if my kid had done something above and beyond the realm of 2nd grade work, I’d accept this phone call. Other than that, no. I would be requesting a meeting with the administration to address the willingness of this teacher to waste time without a second thought. The school has my phone number for three reasons, just like you said. My child is sick, my child misbehaved, my child is injured. Other than that, do not call me.
Cherie, I hope you jot those exact sentiments onto a note to Mrs. Mott. It would really make her day to know she’s appreciated. So important for us all to share the love!
This link will take you to a post about a teacher that uses a most unique way to stop bullying by using the student’s own input. She is brilliant, or got the idea from another brilliant person. Good teachers are worth millions to our kids. http://momastery.com/blog/2014/01/30/share-schools/
I’m actually a little put off by this. It’s important to encourage children, but good behavior should be an expectation, not something that comes with petting and rewards. You don’t do well to have people pat you on the head and say, “Oh well aren’t you good??” No, you do it because, well, that’s having a little pride in yourself.
Wonderful. It makes such a difference.
Congrats to the both of you. Treasure the moment.
Thank you for such a heartwarming, beautiful post. As a K teacher, this is a reminder to me that my very wonderful, supportive parents need to hear positive things about their amazing kids as often as possible. Kuddos to the teacher for caring and loving her students first. 🙂 Thanks for sharing. It made my day.
What an amazing thing to do!