Tips like these helped us pay off $127K in debt. You can read our story in Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After.
Paying off debt isn’t for wimps. It’s especially not for wimps who are married. Honoring one another is key when it comes to paying off debt AND remaining married at the end of the journey. Here are 7 Things To Do For Wife Husband While Paying Off Debt.
If you’re a wife looking to love your husband well while paying off debt, check out Things to Do For Your Husband While Paying Off Debt and 7 Things to Say to Your Spouse When You’re Paying Off Debt.
Take Her Out
Listen, if you are focused on paying off debt, the date night budget is zero, friends. We very rarely went out for dinner while paying off $127K. However, we did spend plenty of intentional hours together. Sometimes, we went on a walk. Other times, we would stay at home and snuggle up to watch a movie together. You don’t have to make it an extravagant evening but from time to time you do have to make it an evening. This means figuring out childcare if you have kids and then planning something on your limited budget. We can be the worst at setting up a date night and then not having a plan. Don’t let the occasion sneak up on you. Instead, make going on something planned and to look forward to.
Surprise Her
Marriage can get boring while you’re paying off debt. There are no vacations to look forward to, few date nights, and special gifts or flowers are reserved for birthdays. This doesn’t mean you can’t surprise your wife now and then. Come home for lunch unannounced or offer to do a household chore she usually takes care of. Write a note or leave her favorite candy bar in the seat of her car. Cook dinner. Do a load of laundry. Whatever would make her heart sing. You might have to get creative but I trust you can do it. From using sidewalk chalk to leave her a message in the driveway to drawing hearts on the mirror after a steamy shower, there are plenty of ways to surprise your wife. She needs that spontaneity and while I can’t promise it will lead to more than that, she may want to reciprocate.
Tell Her You Appreciate & Love Her
You need to regularly tell your wife that you appreciate what she’s doing to help pay off debt. Whether she’s burning the midnight oil while working, couponing her rear off, or staying at home with kids during the day, she needs to know her efforts count. I did not work a good portion of the time while we were paying off debt, taking care of a newborn into her toddler years. It was easy to feel like my contributions were insignificant or worthless. When my husband stepped in to thank me for taking care of our children or stretching our grocery budget to feed our family on very little cash or coming up with creative ways to meet our everyday needs, my heart sang. The majority of women also need to hear you say, “I love you.” on at least a daily basis. Just shooting you straight, fellas.
Let Her Have Time to Herself
One of the best things Brian did for me while we were paying off debt was to encourage me to take care of myself and spend time on my own. Our children were very young during the four year process and some days I wanted to jump through the window (I should note we live in a one story house, but still) by the end of the day. Encourage your wife to spend time with friends, go for a walk or work out, read, or simply take a shower. It makes a bigger difference than you realize.
Turn Off the TV
Both of our daughters at different points in time have hugged an electronic box while proclaiming, “I love you TV.” #ParentFail Sometimes it’s the easiest way to unwind and escape the most difficult parts of our existence. However, your marriage would benefit from time to time if you turned off the television. Play a game together, talk, share stories from your day or your childhood, make a snack together. The options are endless. Staring into one another’s eyes will result in intimacy. Staring at the TV will result in falling asleep on the couch.
Get a 2nd Job
So I’m wading into difficult territory, but paying off debt is the result of two pursuits – spending less and making more. This might mean one or both of you take on extra work. One of the best ways to show your wife how much you care about her during this season of your life just might be taking on an additional gig. Whether you’re working longer hours from home or sacrificing your free time punching a clock elsewhere, bringing home more income will speed the process of slaying debt.
Dream Big
It’s so easy to be negative. Being positive takes hard work and determination. This rings incredibly true when you’re paying off debt. It’s easy to criticize each other, point out where your wife made money mistakes, and make paying off debt a miserable experience for both spouses. It takes more intentionality and effort to be positive. My husband Brian captured my heart by often asking the question, “What would we do if we weren’t making so many payments?” This set my dreaming soul a whirling. Where could we go? How would our kids’ lives be different? What would our community look like? Take the initiative to be the chief dreamer in your family. Set the vision for what is possible and why it’s important.
What would you add? What actions have encouraged your wife in the process of paying off debt? Or as a wife, what have you wished your husband would do?
My book is now available: Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After. You can also check out Inspiration to Pay Off Debt: 30 Days of Encouragement from the Queen of Free
This post contains an affiliate link. That means when you get a great deal or maybe even something for free, you also help our family pay off our mortgage early. And for that, we royally thank you!
