Over the years, I have received a number of e-mails from men and women who more than anything love their friends and family. They have people in their lives – co-workers, sons and daughters, even parents – who are struggling in their finances. Each e-mail is packed with pained words, each individual deep down longs to provide encouragement, relief, and even monetary assistance to their loved ones. But how can you really help? Should you give money? Should you just give advice? Or should you give neither? Here are some ideas to consider and some methods you might engage to help those in financial need or in the midst of financial turmoil.
Choose Your Words Wisely
You need to have a serious, non-condemning conversation before you do anything. Acknowledge that they’re hurting and that they need help. Do this outside of a family occasion like Thanksgiving or a birthday and with as few distractions as possible – no kids, no TV, no devices, etc. Those in need may not even know that what they’re doing isn’t working and that will require change. Careful, because these words need to be spoken in love to be effective. Give them hope, ask them to dream big dreams about what they would do if they didn’t have debt. Prepare to have your words rejected and for potential hurt feelings.
Give Resources
You probably know better than I do whether or not you should provide monetary help to someone in need. But each and everyone of us needs both inspiration and direction, no matter our struggle. It’s a great idea to give resources that will help the people you love move beyond their current financial state. Books with practical wisdom about money could prove to be much more beneficial than bailing someone out. Might I suggest pre-ordering Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After? 🙂
Bless Their Children
If there are young ones involved in the situation, one of the best ways you can help is to tend to them. When we were paying off $127K in debt, it was easy for my husband and I to go without the extras. However, our hearts often longed for special ways to bless our children. Whether it’s as simple as a name brand sugary cereal or as practical as a new pair of shoes, you can step in and love on the under eighteen set. From diapers to toys, from baby food to a new coat, think through the many needs a family might have when it comes to children.
Pair Them Up
Yours might not be the best voice to speak into the situation. Especially if you’ve never experienced the exact same set of circumstances, your words might fall short. So find someone who is currently successfully battling debt and introduce them. The common struggle could forge a new relationship that could be a catalyst for change.
Give Freely
After weighing all of the options, if you choose to give money to assist, you have to do so without strings attached, full well knowing that your gift might be misused. You have to promise yourself that you’ll turn a blind eye to any financial idiocy. It will be difficult; however, giving money with expectations attached will result in disappointment for both you and the recipient. Above all else, it’s never a good idea to borrow money to give to someone else. Taking on debt will not truly help others, and it will put you in peril.
Whatever you do, it probably won’t be easy or comfortable. There is always a great tension in the situations ripe with the most potential. If it’s easy to give money, it’s probably cost you nothing. True healing is more than bandaid. It takes time, courage, and intentionality. It’s a blessing to love someone so much that you long to make a difference. May you be able to remember that in the middle of uncomfortable, heart wrenching situations.
Gain inspiration to pay off debt! Check out Inspiration to Pay Off Debt: 30 Days of Encouragement from the Queen of Free
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