Tips like these helped us pay off $127K in debt. You can read our story in Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After.
One quick examination of my own life and I realize my human soul struggles to be content. Something within our nature is constantly reaching for more, even when our lives are filled with really good things. Food, money, possessions, relationships – we want it all, all the time. It’s a constant battle for me to beat back those feelings of desire. When those deep longings for more arise, I try to use these strategies to both remember and treasure what I already have.
List Your Blessings
Reading 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp was an eye-opener for me. While I’d certainly count myself among people who recognize that I have much, I rarely take the time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and really record those blessings. The practice of journaling gratitude – no matter the form you choose to use – can be a great way to help you focus in on what God has given you. When I begin to feel myself longing for lovely home decor or new clothes or bigger house, I start a list of items I already have. This keeps my heart in check and also proves useful because I usually discover an item or two I’d forgotten about.
By the way, this is a great activity to do as a family, too. Whether you have a running list on a chalkboard or simply discuss the ways you’ve been blessed while driving to practice, a group effort will yield a longer list. Move beyond physical items and focus on more emotional/spiritual/physical qualities, too.
Refine What You Love
I am a die hard bargainista. This means I often find great deals on items without even trying. Some people’s talents involve launching satellites to photograph the outer edges of the galaxy, mine revolve around being able to locate the clearance rack and then find a coupon to go with that sale. However, just because you can find a great deal, it doesn’t mean you should make a purchase. So three or four years ago, I began to narrow in on what I truly and deeply love to wear, eat, and put inside of my home. This has kept my life and soul (not to mention my closet) from filling up with clutter. Remember those $0.19 placemats that I didn’t buy at the end of our debt slaying journey? That’s a principle I still live by today. There’s never a “meh” moment in the dressing room, followed by purchasing a sale item that I will wear once. I do my best to pass by the cute throw pillows knowing we already have plenty. However, I realized I LOVE a good glass of iced tea. And so I will purchase tea that tastes fantastic to me. Realizing and again writing down what you love will help you avoid making rash purchases and give you a good filter to run every purchase through, asking the question “Do I really love this item?”
Focus on People, Not Things
I’m not sure when our culture began to equate blessings with money or physical items. This notion (and the #blessed) in and of itself makes me a bit batty. After all, God loves and blesses His children in a number of ways – from talent to relationships to opportunities as well as less tangible manners like peace, joy, and kindness. We all need to stop equating things with blessings. Instead of turning your eyes toward what you don’t have, begin to focus your energies on who you do have. An author friend pointed out this week to me that when we’re feeling left out that’s the perfect time to look to the margins and see who might feel even more left out than we do and include them in our lives.
Choose Your Friends Wisely
You know it to be true. The people you associate with deeply influence the choices you make. From invitations to dine out constantly to pricey shared vacations, you need to truly evaluate who you spend your time with and why. If your relationships are causing you to consistently overspend, it’s time to have an uncomfortable conversation or two. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Note, you won’t become a fool, you’ll suffer harm. Choose wisely.
Read Scripture
If I really want to know what counts in this life, if I want my life to make a difference, if I want to be whole and healthy then time and time again I return to the ancient, yet still applicable wisdom of the Bible. Verses like:
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12 – 13 NIV
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:25-26 NIV
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5
all give me strength. The Bible is filled with wisdom about contentment. If you feel your heart pulled in multiple directions wanting more and more, pause and open God’s word.
Serve Others
When we begin to pour out our lives in service of others – whether they be strangers or our neighbors – suddenly our lens shifts. From mowing someone else’s lawn to baking cookies to making a donation, there are many ways you can serve others. Soon we become more consumed with displaying God’s love for people than filling up our homes and lives with things. Serving fills up your heart in ways that no other item could. Honestly, it doesn’t even have to cost anything. Clean out a closet, write a note, leave sidewalk chalk messages of joy – you can do so much to serve and you’ll be oh so happy you did.
Pray
One of the very best things you can do is to be blatantly honest with God when you’re struggling to feel content. Rather than ignore or cover up your problem, voice your frustration – with life, with your own desires, maybe even with Him. Prayer changes who we are. If you sidestep this vital practice, you’ll never transform.
No one accidentally wakes up content. It’s an active process that requires forethought and daily discipline. I’d love to hear what you do to pursue contentment and cultivate it in your life and home.
My book is now available: Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After. You can also check out Inspiration to Pay Off Debt: 30 Days of Encouragement from the Queen of Free on Kindle.
This post contains an affiliate link. That means when you get a great deal or maybe even something for free, you also help our family pay off our mortgage early. And for that, we royally thank you!
Suzanne Wesley says
After my women’s bible study group did the ‘1000 Gifts’ study by Ann Voskamp I started a Gratitude Journal too. It has absolutely changed my prayer life and helped me be more content. I still notice the couch the dog chewed up I’d like to replace ASAP, but . . . I’m more happy about what I do have, and it gives me patience to save up for a new couch rather than go into any more debt. It will be worth it. It also helps me forgive and be grateful for the cute puppy who did the chewing. 😉
Queen of Free says
What awesome perspective. The simple act of writing things down always makes me exhale in times of extreme stress. I’m so glad you’ve found a place within the tension. <3
Suzanne Wesley says
My husband and I were in the audience today at MCC and had to laugh at your husband’s comment about his baptism. We got married at Kohl’s (OK the old MCC location), we also have two girls (7 & 9) … and their favorite things to spend money on are Littlest Pet Shop Pets or My Little Ponies. Our debt has also been accrued primarily on fancy things like groceries, tires and medical bills. We are very much still in the thick of trying to wrangle the debt dragon into submission. Feels like two steps forward and one step back all. the. time. Thanks for the inspiration to keep at it. 😉 I’ve been following your blog for a while and it was nice to get to see you and your husband talking today in person about your journey.
Queen of Free says
So glad you could be there! I bet some people dream about being married at Kohl’s. Ha. Thanks for your kind words.