The King of Free is fond of saying, “Everybody’s got daddy issues.”
It really is true. Whether we like it or not, we’re shaped by our parents, both male and female, and their presence or lack thereof in our lives.
I was recently chatting with a young woman who is in the process of merging her finances with her husband. For many years, they’ve had separate checking accounts. She feels called to combine their accounts. Her husband does, too. It’s been an endeavor of love and not without struggle. You see, her stepfather had a tight fist on the money in her home growing up. She witnessed her mother painfully secure basic household items for their family without much say in how money was spent.
And so with tear-filled eyes, she said, “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do this.” I replied, “I do.”
You can’t ignore the fact that how your parents handled money also effects the way you handle money, for better or worse. But what we all do have to do is move beyond those influences at some point (unless every instance was stellar, which is doubtful since our parents are indeed human).
My words of encouragement to this sweet, vulnerable, and truth-seeking Money Saving Lady were rather simple. “He’s not your dad.”
You see, her husband is wonderful and can be trusted. He’s proven that. She knows that. And she’s in the process of letting go of her past.
Even if you can’t learn this lesson for yourself, if you have kids, realize that their eyes are on you at all times. They’re not just learning how to be proper princes and princesses from what you say. As parents, your lives speak more than your words ever will. So your spending habits, your saving habits, your attitudes toward money, they will be all passed along as sure as your dimples and bright blue eyes.
Do you want your child to struggle in combing his or her finances in their future marriage?
Do you want your child to be in debt up to their eyeballs?
Do you want your child to be a generous giver?
Do you want your child to see trouble coming and prepare for it?
Actions speak louder than words, Money Saving Lords & Ladies. Don’t give your children Daddy Money Issues.
Want to learn more about how much weight our words & actions have as parents? Watch Week 4 of this.
Gain inspiration to pay off debt! Check out Inspiration to Pay Off Debt: 30 Days of Encouragement from the Queen of Free
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[…] mentality, you’ll never get anywhere. You are on the same team. Remember, your spouse isn’t your Dad, financial unity is sexy, you have to be willing to be led, and best of all, you should be fighting […]