Here’s what debt does . . .
Debt has a funny way of making you feel incredibly lonely.
Not in an Elvis “I’ve been so lonely I could die Heartbreak Hotel” sort of way; more in a no one understands what my life is really like sort away.
But then again, that’s not quite right either. That sounds like a whiney teenager who slams the door.
No, debt makes you feel incredibly lonely in a no one could possibly be facing this same battle that I am facing.
No one could have made this many mistakes.
No one else feels this out of control.
No one could have been that dumb with their money.
Certainly, no one else is endeavoring in “creative bill pay” where you pay a bill just a wee bit late in order to have the cash flow to support it.
No one could have not paid attention and let a credit card get out of control, even though you were only using it for emergencies.
No one else could have felt the pressure to keep up with everyone else by spending money that was not your own.
No one could feel this scared about not having a secure future.
No one else is under this kind of pressure.
So alone. So lonely.
And of course we know that the statistics support that you are not the only one who is or has been in debt, even excessive debt. I can tell you personally that a great number of people have e-mailed, posted on the Court of the Queen of Free on Facebook, tweeted, and shared their story in person when I’ve spoken to their group or conference. A lot of of you are slaying debt dragons (or at least trying to figure out what weapons to use to begin the battle). And some of you have fought and won your battles already. There’s a great community of us daily making hard choices to get out of debt and spend less than we make.
But back to that lonely thing. When those “no one else could have” sort of statements float around in our brains, we begin to believe the lie that we really are the only ones who have this sort of problem. And darkness creeps in with its partners in crime, shame and guilt.
And that darkness can keep you from sharing your story to both get the help and hope you need to get out of debt as well as the help and hope you can offer others who are on the same path. Darkness is an evil fiend indeed who has some sort of spell that paralyzes us all.
In the beginning it was very difficult for us to “go public” with our story. I mean come on, we haven’t always been the people who have paid off $127k+ in debt. Back in April of 2008, we were the people who had $127k+ in debt. It’s much easier to share your story when you have kicked a few debt dragons in the teeth than when you have one (or 12) breathing fire down your back.
And that’s why I’m going to keep on telling our story (even after there’s victory). Because I know what it feels like to feel alone.
You are not alone. Cast out the darkness and tell your story. Be honest with yourself and others about your finances so you can begin the path to victory over debt. Get the help and hope that you need to begin defeating your own debt dragons. You won’t regret it.