I recently received this e-mail from Sir Andy:
I think you guys do a sort of present system with your kids, right? Where they get a limited number of presents at birthdays/Christmas? How do you guys work that? I’ve heard some people limit it to 4 categories: something fun, something practical, something educational, and something to aid their spiritual growth. With my son turning 3 in a few months, I feel like now is the time to start that. My primary concern is not overspending on our part, but well-meaning relatives who want to shower our kiddos with gifts. They do it out of love, of course, but… showers of gifts aren’t necessarily the best thing in terms of character and integrity-building. Last Christmas, someone gave our son eighty Matchbox cars, and the most notable result was that he was no longer satisfied with just one or two.
Here’s my response:
Sup Sir Andy, great question. I love intentional parenting. I pulled together some of the posts I’ve written about kids/gift giving for you.
- What Do You Do Wednesday? Kids and Christmas Gifts
- What Do You Do Wednesday? Saving on Kids’ Birthdays . . .
- Three Things Thursday: Three More Ways to Save on Kids’ Birthdays
- Day 15: 31 Days to Reducing Your Debt
- Frugal Living 101
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| The Spread for the Eldest Princess’ family birthday in 2008, featuring several types of tea (An American Girl Tea Party), veggies, fruits, and small sandwiches. Don’t you love the Queen Mum’s kitchen? 🙂 |
Bottom line, we do 3 gifts on Christmas AM – a book, an outfit, and a bigger fun gift (easier as they get older) with stockings filled with practical things. On Christmas Eve, they get PJs from the King of Free.
Birthdays have traditionally been themed for us: Year 1 = books (1 book/family); Year 2 = DVDs, CDs, Computer Games; Year 3 = big outdoor project (swingset building, no gifts come and help construct or purchase a piece of the set); Year 4 = Board Games. We only have “friend” parties at years 1, 5, 10 (next year), and in the distant future 16. 🙂
We’ve also stated exactly what we want to the grandparents within a category, a wagon, a swing, etc. They get to choose whatever version of that category they want and we end up with things we truly need. So everyone’s happy.
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| The Youngest Princess’ “big” Christmas gift of 2009 – a Tricycle! |
This year, the Eldest Princess also managed a budget to purchase all of the food/decor for her birthday which was WAY cool. She had $35 to buy everything and managed to feed 10 people lunch with cupcakes, too AND a pinata, plates, napkins, decor. We were all SO very proud of her.
At Christmas I disclose what we’re getting so that the grandparents can purchase a coordinating item. So the year The Youngest Princess received a kitchen set, grandparents purchased food to go with it, apron and pans. When the Eldest Princess got an American Girl (she has only 1 and it is really her only doll), both sets of grandparents got clothes/accessories. Usually grandparents disclose what they’re getting too so that when my parents got the girls a Wii, the King’s parents got games.
We both have one brother and agreed with their families that we would yearly only spend $25 and get a gift for the entire family. We usually get gift cards for dinner or movies OR put together a family night basket or buy everyone a book or buy a Wii Game for the family to share.
It might take an awkward conversation or e-mail or two to begin with but it pays in dividends for EVERYONE. We don’t get crappy small toys or clutter. And the girls honestly don’t ask for ANYTHING. Plus, the givers are just as blessed in the simplification as the receivers.
Hope that helps get your juices flowing. Make it work for you (and your wife) but these are things that have guided us over the years. Bottom line, less is more. Kids don’t want your stuff or your money, they want you!
Spend time, not money on your children whether it’s their birthday, Christmas or a regular ‘ole day of the year.
E-mail me with your questions and you might be featured in a future What Do You Do Wednesday post!
